So my husband and I got our divorce. I moved out, life has moved on.
Problem...
I started dating a guy who I have been friends with for 10 years, only had spoken to or seen in 4 years.
We reconnected via internet and the devil Facebook and decided we had a lot in common still and therefore would pursue a relationship when he returned from a tour overseas. We spoke extensively, I met his family and teenage children(via Skype) all of whom we openly spoke up being together in front of and even had plans for me to come visit them in August with him.

Well he got here a month ago and things were magical, I helped him move into his apartment, get all set up and everything perfect, except I that I didn't see much of him because him always being with his 2 children i had not met(though I of course did not hold this against him).
Funny it be, I found out last week that he guy I have been seeing is VERY much MARRIED to the mother of the two kids I had not met, whom he had been telling me since he got home that she was just a mean and controlling person and therefore better for me to let them get use to him being around the kids again before bringing me into it.

Now aside from being completely crushed and destroyed by this guy I thought I loved and could trust, his wife wants to destroy me further because of course she blames me for the whole thing.
I have completely erased the guy from my life now that I know the truth but SHE is still constantly harassing and threatening me.
What do I do or do I deserve this for being such an idiot and therefore should just take it?
I have so far and will continue to be myself to her which is nice and pleasant no matter what she throws at me because she isn't the one I feel I should be mad at or hating. But she is seriously starting to go off the deep end towards me. 

kill her with kindness. Thats what I do with my husband ex wife. You dont need bull from her. Ignore it. If hes out of your life now she should be too. 

Cut communication. No Facebook, no emails, no phone calls. Come on, live your life, move on and don't act like your computer makes you interact. No C O M M U N I C A T I O N. Get a new focus, possibly a hobbie and move forward. No interaction. Change numbers. Over done, the end. 

Stop being "nice", don't be anything, not your job. You should not be involved. Your the other women, so you gotta step out. 

Can't believe I am saying this but for once I 100% agree with MO. Lol no offense girlie ;-)

Cut off every way she can interact with you. Changing a number isn't hard to do. If its Fb you can always make a new private one. If she comes to your home then file harassment charges. 

Wall in all fairness this one was not hard. I love these rare moments when things are so black and white. Its refreshing. 

I would move on...completely. If he couldn't tell you from the beginning that he was married what else is he going to lie about? If she's blaming you that would tell me that she knew nothing about him wanting a divorce or anything til after you came along. What amazes me is that you met his children and family via Skype and no one spoke up about him being married already...the wife has no right to be mad at you if you knew nothing about her...but staying in the relationship after finding out about her gives her every right to be upset with you. I don't think I could be with someone who lied or "just didn't say" about something that big. 

Oh and here's the empathy to sprinkle on to
I am sorry your first attempt at a relationship ended in this. Not all men are like this. Fix whatever in you that keeps picking unsuitable partners. 

^ oh Mo, you were almost being nice with advice until that comment. It's not her fault this happened. Some people are very convincing but at least she got out if it when she found out. 

i'm sorry you fell for a liar. rebounds are best when they are light and carefree. maybe you could meet a mutual friend of someone you trust next time you are ready. don't beat yourself up. he saw you were vulnerable and he knew what he was doing.
as for the wife, you can let her blame you in her mind because she hasn't realized he's the one that did it yet, but don't let it get out of her mind and spill into your life. change your number for sure. 

What exactly is she threatening to do to you? I don't believe WA has any laws that would allow her to take legal action against you anyway, so she's really got nothing. Make it very clear that you want her to cease all communication with you, then change your phone numbers, change your e-mail, cut off all communication with both of them. Keep records of it all. If it continues then it's harassment. And no, you should not "just take" any of that. You don't deserve it. 

i'm curious too 

I am TOTALLY done with the guy! Not just for lying but for now allowing his wife to act this way towards me.
Her threats are generic, the most specific is for me to hurry up and move out of her state before she makes my life miserable.
She knows where I live and on top of that, he was a "best" friend of mine a long time before the gap in communication and knows A LOT of stuff about me that only he knows and she mentioned a few of them in messages to me.
I personally am out of the situation completely aside from her continuing to bother me.
But honestly I do still feel guilty for the whole thing. I think that is the thing that pisses me off at the guy the most. He put me in a situation where I did something to someone that I NEVER would let go through my mind. I dont blame her for hating me or what she is doing, I hate myself over it.
I just don't understand how his family let him get away with it. Though his 17 year old daughter called me this afternoon to tell me she was sorry about everything and that none of them knew. They havent seen or heard from the wife in years and he had them convinced that they were divorced. 

Im sorry he turned out to be a rotten dude. I agree with cutting off all forms of communication. If she continues to act crazy and threaten, let the police know. They may roll their eyes, but then it's out there in case you need to go further to make her stop. 

How does she know where you live? He told her? Seems pretty crappy...I would just tell her once stop the contact. After that report harrassment if it happens again. Let them know you aren't one to be messed with. 

Ignore it.

I had a similar situation that I'd rather not get into details about, BUUUUUT...I had a woman CONSTANTLY harassing me via text messages. I refused to change my phone number because I've had this number for over 10 years, gosh dang it. It is the only consistency that I have had in this crazy military life.

When the text messages started to become threatening, I called the police. I filed a formal report, and was advised by the officer that I was within legal rights to extend an anti-harassment order. First, however, I needed to let her know that I no longer wished to be contacted by her, or else I would take legal action. I'd let the harassment commence, quietly (refusing to respond. I let her unload on me for this whole time), for several months. I finally had enough. I let her know exactly what the officer told me to say, and with one last spout off, she told me I was ridiculous, and that it would be the last time she contacted me.

To file an anti-harassment order, you need an address for the officers to deliver it to. Just FYI. :) 

Next message you get from her reply back saying you want her to not contact you or you will file harassment. I recently said that to my husband ex wife and never heard another thing since. 

When the text messages started to become threatening, I called the police. I filed a formal report, and was advised by the officer that I was within legal rights to extend an anti-harassment order. First, however, I needed to let her know that I no longer wished to be contacted by her, or else I would take legal action. I'd let the harassment commence, quietly (refusing to respond. I let her unload on me for this whole time), for several months. I finally had enough. I let her know exactly what the officer told me to say, and with one last spout off, she told me I was ridiculous, and that it would be the last time she contacted me.

To file an anti-harassment order, you need an address for the officers to deliver it to. Just FYI. :)

This! I'm sorry you were lied to by him and that's he is now allowing this to go on, so this is exactly what I would do. Good luck! 

Woohoo! 24 hours harassment free!

AND i bought a puppy to make myself feel better!
It worked!