My husband came home to visit for 3 weeks after being in S. Korea for 6.5 months. And he's driving me slightly insane. Have to get it off my chest. He decides he need to pull out every item that I had stored, go thru it, make piles and then leave them in different corners of the room. He moved my keys, he moved my coffee.
I try to get up in the am and quietly go to work, but can't find what I need( keys and coffee). I come home to "cleaning up/out, but the projects haven't come to full completion, so my living room sits in disarray...... I'm trying to be patient, but need control of the little organizational factors I had put in place.
I had a slight monologue and told him when he returns in 5 more months to please ask me before he moves the location of my keys, etc..... Rant over 

I think I would just deal with it and enjoy the time he was home...when he got back for good I would probably be a little more upset if stuff stayed that way. 

It can be very challenging to get used to having them around after being alone for so long. They forget that they have been gone and don't realize that we have a system in place that we have without them around and them disturbing that system is super annoying sometimes not to mention unsettling. Leave the adjusting for when he is home for good....even though I know it is hard ;) 

Last time my husband deployed, I placed everything of his that he wouldn't need on leave in boxes and stored it in the garage, just to keep it out of the way. When he was sent home early, he felt rather lost, like he didn't belong there. He wanted to go through everything, to find his place in my order. It took nearly three months for it all to be "normal" again,. 

i hate the time they dont fit in but you want the around so bad just breath everything will be back at your normal soon and you will be missing him agine and then they come home and the crazy starts agine i am waiting on mine to be done with his s korea crap and i cant wait to have his crazy butt home 

Agreed to it all, there is just the need to get it off your chest to not have it negatively effect. So telling him didn't get it cleared, so thus an underground rant, and then boom, feeling better 

I can fully relate! After deployments, a Korea tour and another Korea tour approaching, mine is the same way. However sadly, he is like that all the time. I just grin and bear it and clean up after him like a child. Haven't changed him in 23 years, probably not going to happen now lol. But yes, it feels good to let it out, my poor friends here my rants :) 

We can all relate...My husband has been back 8 months now from a 12 month deployment. He still does this and its anooying but when he came home I flat out told him dont touch my sh!t. But thats just how we are as a couple. And Im just crazy OCD!! 

Exactly. Having mutual respect for one another also means communicating it and likely laughing after the fact. This am when he brought it up I let him know that his space will be the patio when he comes home. We both laughed it off. 

My husband has the garage to himself, his man cave. He has a big tv, computer, dvd player and soon a fridge for his beer. I don't go in there, simply because I will cringe at how messy it is. He throws his trash away but the rest is just clutter hell so when I need something from there, I just ask him to get it lol 

My husband has his garage and man cave also. I throw all of his nonsense into one of his rooms, so it's up to him to figure out where it belongs. If he can't find something after he puts it away, not my fault ;-). 

We dont have a garage....Ohh do I wish we did lol. My husband has a closet to himself lol. All army stuff and his guns. I find something of his laying around I usually throw it in there. He cant find something and asks me I say check your closet of crap. 

Big fenced yard and a garage was the selling (well renting) point for me. It's an older home, with dated cabinets and carpet, but ya know, as long as we have some separation in the house, we get along just fine :) 

Just wait till they retire. It's good to vent and we can all relate. We have been married 16 years and he probably won't change. 

We joking say when he retires for good, we will have 2 houses on the same lot-his and hers lmao 

you could have some hot dates that way...
it could work. 

you could have some hot dates that way...
it could work.

Exactly! A lot of people ask how we have made it so long, some say deployments destroy them, but we have come to use them as time away from each other then get the honeymoon phase all over again once he's home. I do realize it's not the case for all, not all marriages are great before deployment and it sure doesn't help them being gone, and some come back so broken themselves that the marriage can't survive. I feel fortunate to have what I do, even though I joke about wanting to choke him at times ;) 

dude i sound so cold hearted, but i really wish that my husband would just get deployed so that we can miss each other.

he joined because he wanted to deploy. he didn't want a desk job. he wanted a job where he worked out and shot guns. yes it's a little boys dream of reality, and he's stuck at a desk job.
if he deployed he would not regret having joined. if he deployed we could grow as individuals.
if he deployed we would have an excuse to go ahead and actually go on a honeymoon. we never actually did unless you count one night in a hotel, which was nice, but it was just one night. 

The way it is now that my husband is out of the military, is I completely unpacked the house myself (with the exception of the living room...he set that up)
And I decided what went where, and organized it as I went, and he just has to learn where things are, and how they go.
Makes it easier. 

dude i sound so cold hearted, but i really wish that my husband would just get deployed so that we can miss each other.

I understand this! And I don't think it's cold. My friend and her hubby spent their first four years of marriage apart between BCT, AIT, and deployments. And then they spent the next five years at each other's throats because he was always home and so was she. I was her venting source so I heard it all lol...he left for a really short deployment and it did wonders for their marriage. I know it's totally cliche, but often absence really does make the heart grow fonder! 

Deployments helped us in the beginning. Made us realize we were worth fighting for :) plus, since mine has gone so long since one he feels like a dirtbag. His unit won't release him to volunteer for one though. 

Being here in this TRADOC side of Sill and being in a cadre unit, he would never deploy while he's here. The minute he found out he was on orders for Korea, he was so happy! His stress level in this job is over the top and he brings it home nightly. I just let him vent then go to his man cave after dinner, then meet up again at bedtime. Weekends he is way more easy to get along with and I know going to Korea is just what he needs, even though he most likely will not deploy from there. 

@Shelly I agree i think that's why we survived almost 20 years too. Because of deployments etc. 

Haha as soon as my husband gets home from his day I tell him to go back to work or I tell him "cant you just deploy again" lol. The unit hes going to in drum just deployed so he wont be deploying anytime soon. 

I love when he comes home from deployment, but before his leave is up, I'm honestly ready for him to go back to work.

All joking aside, one of our own on here is facing deployment in the very near future and it makes me so sad because I know her and her family so well :( 

that way you could even have a hotel connecting door between bedrooms ;) ;)

even for those who wouldn't ever consider it, doesn't that make you wistfully dream just a little bit? you can continue to date each other, you can continue to respect each other's space, you can dress up "for" him without him watching you put rollers in your hair... etc etc etc. 

hmmmm you might be on to something girl, I like it!! 

-and it's scary because the first thing that comes to my heart and mind is, "oh no, we'd grow apart."

but you can grow apart even if you do it twice a day and share a toothbrush. 

If intimacy means sharing a toothbrush, I'll keep my distance ;-)