I moved home because I had nothing here for me, no job, no kids holding me down (school), and very few people that I could depend on if there was an emergency. I am only 4.5-5hrs from home. We were able to save tons of money and pay off our debt, and I was able to go back to work at my old job.
Next time though, I will most likely stay here. This is my home now.
I get a little irritated by people thinking the military should move the family anywhere they wish and back for each deployment. Considering that 20-30 years ago, if your husband had to leave for a while, you were forced to leave the base (on your dime, of course) until he got back.
I dont move when my husband deploys, especially when i have an awesome job here...my town is only 2,000 ppl..i would have to travel 45 min to work vs 2 min....
When i married my husband, I knew what i was getting into...my attitudes is, my family should be able to support me if im 2,000 miles away or 2 miles away...
It does not benefits me to be under my family 24hours a day, 30 days out of the month...
My butt stays put....Besides ima grown woman & a survivor...lol
I dont get it either. My husband has been deployed three times and we never moved home. Yes, we visited but thats it. I dont think its fair if you have to kids to move them more than need be. Just my opinion though, to each their own.
I agree with being annoyed that people want their move paid for by the military. I went home to my parents for our first deployment, baby was a year and I didn't work or anything. But I paid for all our plane tickets and paid someone to watch our house so I didn't have to give it up. For the second one our son was in preschool and I was volunteering regularly so I stayed where we were. Everyone is different but once you have kids in school or ties with the community I don't see a reason to go home.
I put my stuff in storage and moved home on my own expense when my husband delpoyed last time because our daughter was two and it was a great opportunity for her to get to know her cousins and grandparents for once because who knows where we will get stationed next and there was nothing keeping me here. This time my husband is pcsing to Korea and we were given the option to be moved home on the army's dime so of course I took it. This is the last year we could move home for a "Deployment" without interrupting my daughters school. So we will go home and she will again have relationships and make memories with our family and she gets to go to a State recognized pre school. Where here we hate it and the schools are terrible, and again there is nothing keeping us here! After Korea we aren't coming back here and I can't move away soon enough~
I dont get it either personally. I always considered where my husband's stuff is, is our home. I have always had a school aged child during deployments, Korea tours, etc so it was never even considered...I couldn't see taking them out of school.
I get annoyed when I see people post who chose to move home while they husband deployed, and them want to bi!ch and complain about the rules/living conditions at their parent's house (all while they are living there rent free!).
I agree !!! I dont get it, unless your having a new baby and blah, but even then I had a new baby family didnt help to much because they stillw orked and had lives, I lived on my own.
Then they complain because they dont know anyone here, well if they didnt leave they would have been able to take advantage of the time alone and meet people
My husband is not going on deploymnet . We are less than 4 yrs from retirement so we are trying to go home. We have always stayed where ever when he deployed. But people who do move have their own reasons. i am not going to live with family we are looking for a place to live. I have done it all by myself no help from anyone. I just want us to be settle once he retires and he can join us.
If my husband wasn't ETSing as soon as his deployment was done, I would not move back. But instead, I would rather give up my house on post so another family can have it, and move back home where I can get a job and have a reliable sitter and someone I know I can trust watch my daughter. As well as be around our family so that they can watch our daughter grow and she can begin to build strong bonds with them. I don't want the military to move me. I would rather do it myself because I have heard horror stories from friends that didn't get their stuff for months after they were supposed to, or having stuff stolen from them, and other things like that. So that's my reason for moving home. But if my hubs was staying in for sure, or if my daughter was already in school, or if I had a job out here, I would not be moving.
I left during his second deployment and kept up with all my close friends while I was gone, it was just like I never left. My parents have a huge house and we had the entire upstairs to ourselves, the only thing we didn't have upstiars was a stove, I don't regret moving home at all. I wish we lived closer to my family we are hoping to live within a car trip at our next station.
When my hubby went to Korea in 03 I moved back home n found out I was pregnant we moved to MO then NY he got deployed I stayed in NY I didn't see the point in keep moving my son if we didn't have to. N this one we r staying. Even tho we don't have much here but my son is in school n I hate moving if I don't have to n make my kids keep changing houses n where they r. The more we can stay things the same it will be easier on them than anything.
I think it depends on the individual's situation. I moved home, at my own expense, during my ex's deployment. I think it was a wise decision for me. I was able to save lots of money, and I had adequate care for my daughter at the time. Plus, I helped her with the utilities while I was there. I was contemplating divorce and it proved to be a wise decision for me and my child. While I did return to El Paso when he redeployed back her, I ended up divorcing him anyway. Because I had saved, I no longer felt trapped and I was able to stay put after he got chaptered from the Army and complete my Respiratory degree. I had to pay rent, my tuition, and other expenses. Had I not gone home, I would have been another annoying spouse crying broke. Instead, I was able to hold my own and I don't have any regrets.
Im pretty much the opposite of you all. If I could, I would move back home while my husband was deployed. I wouldnt expect for it to be paid for obviously. Unfortunately I'll be stuck here we are to far from home for me to go back, not to mention we have 2 big dogs and I couldnt ask one of my family members to take us all in, that wouldnt be fair, but if circumstances were different, I would be home in seconds when he would leave.
During my husband's first deployment, he was deployed out of Germany, and the military just never bothered to move me out to be with him, despite all my efforts. I lived with my family and moved with my family until he finished his term, then after he flew from Germany to FL, we drove from FL to WA together. My father died a month before hubby's 2nd deployment, so I felt it was necessary to be there for my family as much as I needed them there for me. My dad and I were very close, so it was a hard time for everyone involved. I hate to say it, but my father's death severely took the edge off the deployment. It made me realize there are worse things in life than time apart. Anyway, that's why I moved home. Unless another tragedy happens before/during a next deployment, I don't plan to "move" home again. Visit? Absolutely. But I have a life of my own here to uphold now.
Not going back home when my husband deploys is the best decision I have ever made...It has matured me and i am proud that i am able to hold it down while DH is gone...Besides, Im so close to my family, it would be hard for me to return to my husband after being home for a year with my BFF's (mom, sis, aunts, grandma & three of my closest friends)...i would get all home sick and stuff when i would have to leave them...So staying here brings balance to mine and my husband's life...
To each its own...you do whats best for you ur fam...as for me, i stay put...visit when i can...
Good for some maybe not so much for others... I know some do it to save money.. If it was just my husband and I.. no kids I would consider it.. but my family is all spread out now anyway and my girls are in school so no go for us... I understand wanting your kids to know your extended family and to have that experience.. that is important.. I think it is a pain in the butt to keep moving but you gotta do whats best for you... I don't think it should annoy anyone... I don't care what you choose to do.. I have my own life to be concerned with..
I don't do the moving thing either. Where ever we are I get involved in the community. Granted I have 2 kids, both older teens now. Still there is always something to do. Even in some of the tiny little villages Ive lived in. I never really saw the need to move home. Some really need to as they didn't learn how to take care of themselves before getting married & moving. I really like having my own home, ways of doing things & no one asking where I'm going & what I'm doing. My schedule works for my family not necessarily everyone else. To each his own. It is sad to see good neighbors/friends move for months or longer. I understand but its not for me.
i never moved back home...1st deployment it was just me...i figured it would be a good chance to learn some independance and how to be on my own completely...2nd time i had a 10 month old and had moved on post ...had a few great friends and yeah...for the next one i might move back to hubbys home town so that my oldest can meet his cousins and be around his god mother and my lil one can meet everyone as well....but i think it would only be for half the year then we will move back to get things in order...i doubt i will ever move back home during a deployment...its just not the same as it was when i was growing up....id rather take the time and get to know the family in GA,IL and indiana...and visit WA again than move back home....but again it would be at our expense....it would be nice to save the BAH though
We have chosen to stay put through both deployments and make our home where our stuff is. I miss my family, escpecially since the last 2 trips home have because both of my grandfathers passed away. It is hardest when traumatic events happen. Other than that, I am happy on my own raising my family and running my business. It is important not to judge or be annoyed by someone's decision to move or not move....it is only affecting them and their family...not the rest of who don't know them.
we saved money by moving back home. no rent, no utilities. i still gave my parents money for bills, but didnt have to. im not complaining that they didnt pay for my move, but they put us thru h--- and belittled us because of my choice to move, and went so far as denying a pay advance after demanding to see our bank records to see what we spent our money on (basically nothing but bills and dollar menu on occasion as a treat!). i moved home because i had such a horrible experience where i was, hated the house my husband got us stuck in and there was no way i could have visited my family on his income with how far we lived. i had nothing to keep me there... which was good because my husband got sent HERE, a short drive to where we are from. moving here was easy and cheap. it wasnt about support and all that, because we have spent most of our marriage apart due to long hours at work and other things. besides, it was just me and my daughter. she missed our family and it did her a lot of good to go back home where she had everyone to love on her whenever she wanted to see them. shes not in school, so she wasnt missing out there either.
as for not knowing how to take care of myself, ive been doing that since i was a child along with helping raise my younger sisters since i was 11. i am very independant and love having my own place, which i keep spotless inside AND out... but i have to be happy where i am living in order for me to want to stay.
MASC sorry you went through hell..u do what is best for your family...truth be told I chose to stay put because i truely believe that it would cause issues in my marriage...im extremely close to my family.friends & I would not want to come back to my husband after being with them...I love my hubs to death but when my fam/friends back at home get together, its a vacation everyday for me...lol...so it would be hard to come back to rainy WA knowing that my hubs cant come...
If my husband were going to get deployed, I'd probably put everything in storage and drive down to live with my parents. My mom has an autoimmune disease and her health has been steadily declining. Her doc tells her that it wouldn't be a good idea to get on an airplane so I only get to see her about once a year. I know she would have no problem with me, my kids and cats moving in (she hasn't even been able to meet her grand daughter yet). I just feel like it would be nice to be around family while their dad is gone, so I'd do it on my own dime, and end up saving some money in the end.
Clean out your garage on 
PCSing? Win the lottery? Explore
topic is locked.
