Ok, so My husband calls me from work h says SGT so-n-so wants to know if you'll be FRGL, I said sure...he said he'd call w/ info & never did, is MY VERBAL all it takes? I dont have ph #'s or anything. I asked my husband why hasnt his wife called? Is he married? I feel like Im in limbo. His unit is in Yakima now...any advice? 

when did he call and ask you this? if it was while they were at yakima, they might be wanting to do the change after they get back?

if its been a while, id ask your hubs to ask him again about whats going on, or ask if they want you to coordinate with rear D since that would be who you would be working with right now anyway 

try to contact the FRG battalion leader.. she would be able to help you out.. or if you unit has a co-leader try to contact them.. whats your hubs unit?? my hubs is in YTC too 

They asked me last week b4 YTC, and hubby is 2nd 2 SD...Im a new military WIFE, but come from military fam, and Ive been told NOT to do it. But thats bevauae THEYVE had a bad experience as FRGL'S but Im willing and ready, just thought someone should have contacted me by now....is my verbal consideted excepting the position? 

each units different but yeah I think so. Im POC for my hubs platoon in the FRG and all I did was tell them I wanted to do it 

you have to judge it yourself.. alot of wives are against it!! theyve had bad experiences.. my first FRG i loved it!!! and i wasnt married to my hubs yet and brand new to the military.. so my standards are very high for it. so here its let down (2 FRG) and im involved... 

but yet alot of the husbands dont put there wives down for anything so when there gone and wives dont get a phone call they get upset and they get upset at you... 

but yet alot of the husbands dont put there wives down for anything so when there gone and wives dont get a phone call they get upset and they get upset at you..

so true I always thought that was a stupid rule that it was the soldiers decision if they wanted their spouse to know anything, i mean in the case of a separation or divorce I can see it but otherwise let the spouse decide.

the loophole, as I tell any new wife who asks about it is: GET INVOLVED! lol then the soldier cant say diddlysquat bc you are involved. 

my husband asked me and at first i was against it.. because at my first FRG it was awesome no drama i got really close with the ladies... received a volunteer award from the 82nd division.. so coming here i was ehhhhh.. now im getting used to it... i guess. lol 

Yes! Thats wat i was expecting....sum kind of call sheet or a follow up phone call! Just because there are i think 4 married ppl in unit doesnt mean their families dont want to be kept posted! Man, as a sister, it killed me waitin on my sister in law to call! Ok, so, I should ask hubby to politely remind Sgt to give me a call...right? 

Yes remind him that you need a list.. just to give the ladies your name and number ;) 

received a volunteer award from the 82nd division.. so coming here i was ehhhhh.. now im getting used to it... i guess. lol 


lol I got one too. Found out after the fact the award I got was for FRG leaders only...and I wasnt the 'official' frg or co frg leader 

awww oh no :( they held a ceremony for the volunteers of the whole 82 and about 100 ladies were recognized.. probably the best award i received in my life lol probably was easy to get.. but being 19 and getting something like that lol .. you have to be nominated and accepted my the post commander!! 

Who cares, you must have done an incredible job! Yay! 

lol my husband made fun of me hahahaha but good luck i hope your group of girls get involved!!! 

awww oh no :( they held a ceremony for the volunteers of the whole 82 and about 100 ladies were recognized.. probably the best award i received in my life lol probably was easy to get.. but being 19 and getting something like that lol .. you have to be nominated and accepted my the post commander!! 


I think you probably got the same one as me then. That one was for FRG leaders only, and you had to be nominated by the FRG and FRSA. I found out later that even though I didnt have the official title, everyone considered me the co leader :D and a lot of his platoon called me the platoon mom bc I would mail over gs cookies, and games and stuff

I love doing that for them especially the single guys who have no one to really get anything from. I mean they have family that sends stuff from time to time, but its the lil stuff I could send so my DH could share that meant a lot to them. 

alright ladies, than I guess I got some ppl to meet/call. Totally ready for it,BUT, what were your BAD experiences? 

my bad experience was that they never returned a call or emailed me. My husband was 7 months into his deployment when he came home on R&R, Id never been involved in the military in any way shape or form even tho my bro had been in for like 6 years at that point and had no clue what was going on. I was moving our house from my moms out to hood mid deployment and just had no clue what to expect or even how to get around when i got there. after my husband came home on R&R i got occasional emails and then we were told me were 'required' to go to the frg meeting a week before we PCSd to bragg to listen to them go on and on about how the FRG leaders (who were leaving) went above and beyond to help everyone. yeah fn right. My husband had to squeeze my leg so I didnt yell bs in the chapel.

after that it took 6 months for them to remove me from the email list even tho we had PCSd. I finally had to tell them they were the FRG from hell, wouldnt answer when I needed them and now that I was gone couldnt get rid of them

the only reason I gave the FRG at bragg a chance was bc I had a friend at hood who was the FRG leader for a TOTALLY different battalion and she went above and beyond to help me out. She emailed me a scanned map of the post with a star on it to show me where my neighborhood would be, where my school would be and all sorts of stuff I needed to know. Any question I had she answered as fast as possible. She was what my frg leader should have been, and thats why I love giving FRGs a chance. she showed me what a true FRGL should be. 

@ MEGZ...I love to hear about women like you!!! You made their day...no strings attached, and just out of the kindness of your heart! THATS FANTABULOUS!!!! 

hmmmm???????? makes me wonder lol ill have to find my award and check it out..lol i know it was for POCs hmm gosh that was such a long time ago lol.. i loved helping the guys out in my husbands unit.. i loved helping everyone out since i was from there i knew the ends ands out and where to go who to call and where to look!! 

Ya'll are all awesome!! 

mmm my bad experience was snares when i walked into the room (because my husband and i were not married and i was close with the "higher ranking" ladies) getting no phone call during the first couple of months of deployment... then his 1st srgt came up to him and asked me to meet his wife and join to be a POC since my POC never contacted anyone.. so i had to pick up her slack.. it wasnt easy.. i got alot of upset wives when i called.. but i reached out to one of them... her husband was deployed for 6 months and one contacted her about anything until me.. she needed help to move her stuff on post from Alabama and needed help to get into housing.. her girls where school age and had to be back at bragg at a certain time.. then he husband wasnt able to contact her due to no phone so i had to lend her mind during times my husband would call.. they would go together i helped her move in and get settled.. we became close and i loved her girls 

Wow! Im sure Ill be "shut out" @ 1st but Im patient, & can be VERY helpful, I hope to be half as good as you were...thank you very much 

I think that you should first be 100% sure that you are ready for the HUUUUGE time commitment that being an FRG leader requires. Then make sure you can handle the wives who will try to treat you like their surrogate mother/husband whenever their husband is gone. Being able to say "no" to ridiculous request is a must as well.

Be certain that being liked is not a top priority to you because you'll likely be blamed for things that are completely out of your control. Someone is going to think you are doing a horrible job no matter how well you do. Being a people pleaser is a definite negative for the role because not everyone is going to be pleased.

Of course it's not all bad. There are some amazing experiences that will happen as well.In order to be a good FRG leader you have to give a lot of yourself and keep into perspective that when some people are under a lot of stress, they look for someone to take it out on. You've got to prepare for the role and take a lot of time to educate yourself on how everything works in order to keep from drowning under the responsibility and demands. 

Boundaries MUST be set and known to them when you take on the position. Certain hours that you are available. If it is urgent,you will call them back and get them intouch with the proper people or refer them to REAR-D.

You have to know when to say NO, because you will ge some CRAZY requests and not become a babysitter and personal taxi service. Best to keep it as professional as possible. You will never be able to please everyone, but as long as you do what the Commander has trusted you to do, you will be fine!! Good luck. Sent ya a PM with some info also... 

I didn't read all this so sorry if it is a repeat. Most of the time when a new FRG leader takes over they meet with the Commander first and go over things such as expectations and ideas and what not. So they could be waiting until they get back. I have had both ends of the FRG. Thankfully when we first got here our FRG was amazing, so amazing I was all about taking it over when the two leaders PCS'd and then I got a co leader from hell who took the position to make friends the wrong way. She held "FRG" related gatherings at her house where she invited everyone and told them to bring a dish and then got beyond wasted and was VERY inappropriate. She made it known she was bi and looking for female love while her husband was deployed, which she found with a couple wives. She would swoop in if she heard a marriage was in trouble and try to get the wife to move in with her and leave the husband. She had all of us on her facebook including the high ranking enlisted, the Commander, the Chaplin, and was friends with other battery's FRG pages and she would post the most inappropriate things on her facebook, she would post disguting pictures of her weekend escapades and it was just unbelieveable. Finally she was asked to step down and that was last September and no one has taken it over because everyone is over it. She killed the FRG for us and I don't think it will recover until everyone of us who was here for that is gone. 

I had a bad experience at first, but got involved with our FRG, and now it is improving. My POC still doesn't contact me as much as I like, but again, I'm involved so I do get some info. I have learned why sometimes it takes a while to get contacted, and that helps, sadly we r all volunteers, and some just don't have as much time as others. My advice, as an FRG leader, it's going to be very time consuming, and people will never b happy nor will people all b helpful, keep that in mind, but with the right group of POC's it could b great!
Just saying in a phone call yes u will do it is not enough, there are leadership class u will have to take, and a meeting with your commander.
Good luck! I truly hope you have a successful experience! 

The ball probably won't get rolling until they get back. Aside from meeting with the Commander, you'll need to take the leader training course at FRC and then you guys will hold your first meeting where you ask for volunteers for the other positions (co-leader, POCs, secretary, treasurer).

A lot of people have had at least one bad FRG experience- or will at some point, if they haven't already, but you'll be able to set the tone (with the commander's approval). Don't allow it to turn into something it isn't meant to be. Try not to worry about it. You shouldn't worry until your H gets back and you've been formaly asked. Good luck! 

After I read that..wanted to clarify...I am not a leader...just giving an opinion of what I've seen. applepie's advice is probably the best. Above all...avoid drama.as a leader you can set the tone, and like I said a good group of POC's is helpful. I'm sure it will all fall into place and work out for the best. Good luck!