I know there are tons of divorce topics, but I scrolled through and couldn't find the answer.

Husband and I are talking divorce.
I want to move to Colorado to be by my family. Yes we have kids, and he is already flaking on when he sees them, and it stresses me out and is hurtful to the kids. The main reason we are talking divorce if because of his lack of parenting. So please none of the-you need to keep the kids close to him. It's because of the kids that I want to move. I think they would understand that better then what is going on now.

Anyway- with the Army how does that work? he will only be here for maybe another year. I know they can't make me follow him. I know most of the time in divorce and child custody you are not allowed to move out of state. so i'm just wondering how that all works with the army.

I'm hoping he just lets me go, without a fight. I actually think he wants to-but doesn't want to "look" like the bad dad either.

Anyway-any advice would be much appreciated. 

Oh hun. I am so sorry to hear this. :( It it completely a lost cause? Are you just ready to be done and out as in don't love him anymore, or is this something you could fix with counseling? :( I am so sorry to hear this. :( 

The best way to get an answer might be to call JPSSO yourself or stop there in person to ask.

The people I knew who left moved themselves. But I don't think they checked with JPSSO at all. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. The Army doesn't really get involved in custody and divorce issues. It would be handled by the courts in the state you file for divorce/custody in. You can live wherever you want but don't expect the Army to move you there. They will only move someone on orders. It's his responsibility to help get you relocated. 

My nieghbor just divorced and the move was all on her, the army does not move the ex-spouse back to home of record or where ever else. It sucks and I am not sure why becaus ethey moved us here why would they not help move us back but they look at it as well you chose to end the marriage and thats not our fault.... STUPID! Now what you could do is have it put in your decree that he is to pay to help you relocate back to where you want to go. I really do hope everything works out for the best for you and I would contact Jyppso just to make sure there is not more you can do to get help. 

It is a messed up system. But like someone stated above. In the divorce settlement state that you want your relocation paid for. 

JPPSO won't move you home if you divorce your husband. Plain and simple. If you want to move, that's on you. The Army pays for the soldier + family to move for an ETS or PCS. Spouses and Ex-spouses are not entitled moving expenses for divorces.

If you want your move paid for, get it put in the divorce decree...drawn up by a civilian lawyer. 

Somehow my question was misunderstood.
I am not asking how I can get the Army (or even him) to PAY for my move to Colorado.

I am asking-would I be allowed to move (by the courts)? I have read that the parents are expected to stay in the same state.
I am hoping he is ok with me leaving and doesn't fight me on it. But if he fights me on it-what are my chances of winning? Do you know anyone in a similar situation?
Or if I have to stay here, then how likely is it that he will get orders to leave? COuld he apply to stay here because his kids are here? 

When my husband went active duty I had to go back to court because at the time of my divorce I was living in the same state as my ex. I had to go to court to get permission to leave the state, but you could have it put into your decree that you want to relocate and if it's granted, he wont be able to stop you. Of course it would be nice if he just agrees, but for SURE have that wording in your divorce so it won't be an issue later on. 

WA does not have any laws about parents moving/living in other states as far as I know. I was divorced in WA and my ex (he was Army at the time) lived in VA. So if you get divorced in WA you're free to move back to CO. If you move to CO and get divorced there, well you're already there. They're not going to force you to follow a man in the military around the world if you're not married. And they're not going to force him to come live in CO. If you get divorced here and tell him you're leaving he could fight you for full custody, or try to stop the move. If you have always been their primary caretaker and there's no justifiable reason for them to remove the kids from you, then the chances he would win are slim.

As far as the likeliness of him getting orders to leave, the Army doesn't care. Like anything else they will send him where he is needed, regardless of where his kids live. I have a friend who's divorced and is being sent to Korea and then has follow-on orders to JBLM and his ex and his kids live in SC. Your husband could ask to be stationed anywhere close to his kids, but it's always going to come down to the needs of the Army.

Hope that helps! 

I guess i am just worried about moving and then being order to come back. :) I want to be separated for 6months-1year before we go through with the divorce. I don't know why. I feel for certain that it is over but I also know that it is a BIG decision and should not be made rashly. I just really want out of this place :/